Pro-Choice

So here's the dealio:
Just like some vegetarians will not spit at you for eating meat in front of them, some people who become parents will NOT pester you about having children of your own.

Just because this totally weird experience is happening to me and I want to share its weirdness, doesn't mean you have to feel pressured into having one yourself. YOU DO YOU.

Yes, having a kid is magical, and beautiful, and everything nice. I haven't had a period in 5 months and it's considered normal. I am making a living being out of my own flesh and blood, and it happens to have DNA from my favorite people on this planet. It is the cutest and loveliest thing I've ever seen (though I suspect a lot of that comes from hormones my body is producing out of a subconscious survival mechanism).

BUT. I also realize that it is selfish, among other things. I am creating a being that will most likely help us to destroy the environment a little more: creating heaps of garbage, adding to the overpopulation, emitting methane, etc. I am creating someone who will have to live in a world full of misery, sadness, unfairness, difficulty. It will most certainly contribute to lowering my life expectancy through giving birth to it, not sleeping properly, and stressing out over its general well-being.

The thing is, it is here, now, and I will not get rid of it. As much as I hate what it means, I also love it, and I have hope that I can help it become someone who will better the planet, its people, and its social constructs, and be able to realize how beautiful life can be sometimes.

This is my decision, and that of my partner.

When we started trying having children, I became obsessed with the idea that I was not a worthy human being if I did not create an heir for humanity. I felt like I would fail my partner, our families, and society as a whole. I put my entire life's meaning into making this one thing. It was an immense pressure that I felt was imposed on me subconsciously through my experiences as a woman. It sometimes even came from conscious pressure put forth by those around me. It was unhealthy. I don't wish this feeling on anyone.

I wish for everyone to be free of social pressures and to be brave enough to follow their own path, whatever that may be. If you want to have kids, do it in the most informed and clear-minded way possible. If you want kids but don't want to go through the physical trauma of carrying your own, there's plenty out there who needs parents who care. If you don't want kids at all, do that. And if you want to change your mind later, that's fine too, but know that you don't have to. Lastly, if you wanted kids and feel like you missed the opportunity, don't be bitter about it: get involved in schools or daycares or camps.

You do you, people. YOU DO YOU.